Just Salsa

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just jalsa

This is my 3^rd novella in the unmaking.

The first one was really principled.BUT I drowned it in the bay of andipatty during my short semester tours in search of the MISSING KINK.

Thw 2^nd novella was a course on the river CHENAB.I started child-like pebbling on the CHENAB and so intoxicated was I that I took my 2^nd novella,gave it to the local movers-n-packers,smuggled it into an OLD CASK flask and set it sail on the one and only CHENAB.

You laughing—but have ya seen the CHENAB do the foxy figure 8.

You laughing-but have ya seen the CHENAB steal the glaciers of its cake and icing.

And now my 3^rd novella JUST SALSA,JUST JALSA.

She-centric novella,this is.

First time I am thinking like how a girl does it and can do it.

Really quite difficult the way a girl does it.

You really feeling like a lay person.

NOW,i know why they call 'em LAYDEES. 

Now I can understand the mystery and the hystery of rigidity and fridgidity.

A girl can be sexy,voluptuous,configured and yet still a rigidiot and a frigidiot.

Most girls on blogland who use the F word and S word belong in this braket.[..i have now discovered…the more gals use the F WORD,the more they are R & F...]

THAT is,they are good at words,they can spin words but action time,they lock themselves in a SCOUT knot.

But this is SHE-CENTRIC novella.

I am going thro the motions and emotions of a girl.

I try to blush and act coy.

I try to hold my skirt together when the wind flexes its muscle.

When I bend down I am careful….i have now perfected the art.

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And then came SALSA.

I met her on the threshing floor,off the panchayat roads.

As the wind began to pump air into the arid land,SALSA tossed her hair and began her story………a story begging to be told..

She had never blogged in all her life.

She had never self-published her books.

Therefore she was neither rigid nor frigid.

She drew her inspiration from the imperial CHOLAS and the PALALVAS.

To a certain extent she admired the PANDYAS,but the CHERAS she detested.     

She spent hours and hours on the valour of KARIKALA CHOLA—he who tamed the CAUVERY.

Was there a missing link in the evolution of the tamil country……….…she kept wondering,as she tucked a pendant into her cleavage.

The pendant was stuck up between the left and right... still undecided...BUT i had already decided.

Her thoughts raced.

The imperial grandeur of the CHOLAS and the squalor of the tamil nation,now.

Some kind of disconnect…a missing KINKY LINK.

She sat with me on the CAUVERY sandunes and plotted the CHOLA conqests…up,up,up to the HINDI GANGES….

You some kind of anthropologist…….i muttered.

She pulled out her pendant and I was battling between two worlds—

CHOLA NAATU ARASI …it was etched in BRONZE on her pendant.

I stood frozen.

CHOLA NAATU ARASI……what manner of woman is this???.

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novella in the making and unmaking

[next...when SALSA was born in a salsa..]

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MOOZA SAMOOZA

Our friend and unaclaimed authoress BEGEBE is threatening to come out with another BUCKS-BUSTER of a a book ….it doesn’t matter that the first one SHALL WE DANCE,MR DUNCE couldn’t even climb the charts

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This time I am rising to the occasion….i am also venturing into my third novel…I have already done 2 DISSERTATIONS and thus this is my rightful 3^rd novel..

Ladies and gentlemen…..the novel iz the story and history of MOOZA SAMOOZA….and his sidekick ,VICK THE HICK

Any resemblance to any other similar title is incidental and accidental and occidental …

This novel xxxplores the intricate signs and designs of the lost art of THUMBUCTOO…to the uninitiated ,the art of THUMBUCTOO was patronized by the NAWAB OF KEBAB in the good old days of the golden GOOZE PIMP…..

This is a novel on the move ……

Now,whether you’ve gonna read this or not,I know that there is one person who has to keep in touch…to plot my plot…

My book will be published by the FROCK publishers and its gonna be into celluloid soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

77 DOUBLE SEVEN 77

THE EMERGENCY,HANS RAJ KHANNA,STOLEN GENERATION

Ever heard of DOUBLE SEVEN.

It was our standard mix-n-fix for all our cock,rock and mocktails ..well 77 was our good old gorgie porgie[george fernandes] idea of throwin out COCA COLA..in the aftermath of the emergency…the first PEOPLE’S JANATA GOVERNEMENT .\

77 was our desi cola,our ingenuity,our perspiration,our inspiration,our mischief and our colonial revenge in the WATER WAR!!

How we cried when this BLOCK-BUSTER of a JANATA governemnt bluffed it’s way out.

With the collapse of the JANATA government 77 faded from our collective consciousness.

COCA COLA and PEPSI are back.....77 is now INDRA NOOYI in PEPSI..who knows..  

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Today is the time to remember the great JUSTICE HR KHANNA who delivered a sixer of a verdict during the DARK AND DEEP EMERGENCY.

In my days in college the legal eagles we admired were NANI PALKIVALA AND RAM JETHMALANI.

I really enjoyed the reminscenses of JR KHANNA in the HINDU,INDIAN EXPRESS,HINDUSTAN TIMES and THE TIMES OF INDIA.

One of the most important legal terminologies I learnt   was the HABEAS CORPUS…even today when I go thro the HABEAS CORPUS petitions in the HIGH COURTS,I cannot but think of this ONE MAN ARMY who took our cuture of dissent and fairplay to HIMALAYAN HIGHTS…read on… 

The Habeas Corpus Case [wikistuff,this is!!!]

Justice Khanna is known for his courage and independence during the period that has been called the darkest hour of Indian democracy^[3], during the Indian Emergency (1975-1977) of Indira Gandhi.

The emergency was declared when Justice Jagmohanlal Sinha of the Allahabad High Court invalidated the election of Indira Gandhi to the Lok Sabha in June 1975, upholding charges of electoral fraud^[3] by Raj Narain.

In an atmosphere where a large number of people had been detained without trial under the repressive Maintenance of Internal Security Act, several high courts had given relief to the detainees by accepting their right to habeas corpus as stated in Article 21 of the Indian constitution. This issue was at the heart of the case of the Additional District Magistrate of Jabalpur v. Shiv Kant Shukla, popularly known as the Habeas Corpus case, which came up for hearing in front of the Supreme Court in December 1975. Given the important nature of the case, a bench comprising the five seniormost judges was convened to hear the case.

During the arguments, Justice Khanna at one point asked the Attorney General Niren De: "Life is also mentioned in Article 21 and would Government argument extend to it also?". De answered, "Even if life was taken away illegally, courts are helpless"^[4].

The bench opined in April 1975, with the majority deciding against habeas corpus, permitting unrestricted powers of detention during emergency. Justices A.N. Ray, P. N. Bhagwati, Y. V. Chandrachud, and M.H.Beg, stated in the majority decision:^[4]

In view of the Presidential Order [declaring emergency] no person has any locus to move any writ petition under Art. 226 before a High Court for habeas corpus or any other writ or order or direction to challenge the legality of an order of detention.

However, Justice Khanna resisted the pressure to concur with this majority view. He wrote in his dissenting opinion:

detention without trial is an anathema to all those who love personal liberty^[5]... A dissent is an appeal to the brooding spirit of the law, to the intelligence of a future day, when a later decision may possible correct the error into which the dissenting Judge believes the court to have been betrayed.^[4]

Before delivering this opinion, Justice Khanna mentioned to his sister: ‘‘I have prepared my judgment, which is going to cost me the Chief Justice-ship of India.’’^[6] True to his apprehensions, he was superseded for the post of Chief Justice in January 1977, despite being the most senior judge at the time.

Subsequently, the judiciary has wrested the power of judicial appointments from the executive in a landmark ruling in the Advocates-on-Record case in 1993.

The New York Times, wrote at the time:

If India ever finds its way back to the freedom and democracy that were proud hallmarks of its first eighteen years as an independent nation, someone will surely erect a monument to Justice H R Khanna of the Supreme Court. It was Justice Khanna who spoke out fearlessly and eloquently for freedom this week in dissenting from the Court’s decision upholding the right of Prime Minister Indira Gandhi’s Government to imprison political opponents at will and without court hearings... The submission of an independent judiciary to absolutist government is virtually the last step in the destruction of a democratic society; and the Indian Supreme Court’s decision appears close to utter surrender.^[6]

INDIA TODAY was a child of the EMERGENCY…the emergency excesses and sexcesses was easy fodder for INDIA TODAY….JUSTICE HR KHANNA deserves a frontpage on INDIA TODAY.

VINOD MEHTA of OUTLOOK was with DEBONAIR during the emergency  and fought the emergency in his own little way….dear OUTLOOK lets have KHANNA and SINHA on the cover…and some rivetting stuff from the legal eagles we are blessed with.

Interestingly  PAKISTAN is going thro a similar phase…thus we are 30 years ahead in the continental race.

I cried when I kept replaying the saga of KASHMIR SINGH….its a medical miracle….they deserve a visit to the TAJ MAHAL on state expense…this is textbook stuff….

WHO CAN ??? AMERICAN!!!

I really  cant figure out these American primaries,bloody marys and secondarys.

Will someone out there explain the innings and outings of the grand American dalliance with the yellections.

I am not stupid .though.....IN INDIA we have the westminister model.. the first-past-the-post system and this can be really mind-shattering for a candidate who loses by 5 or 10 or 100 or 1000 votes….you get it …he is in no way the minority candidate..

I think the germans have the proportional system and there is always the supporters of underdogs like me who can vouch for the parity of the proportional representational system.

Now,lets come to bloody and bitchy Americas…

You have the republicans and the democrats and you don’t have the communists…it is said that the American system is designed to keep the communist,lefties,freakies out of the electoral race…

Thus we seem more democratic….

I dunno…

Will anybody xxxplain the American method of electorals…….

Just read TIME and the ECONOMIST….there is a subtle hint of disregard for OBAMA…

Social engineering is still yet to take off in the US OF A.  

Would the American system be able to accommodate a social activist on par with JEYAPARAKASH NARAYAN as its presidential protégé…

I request the India born-bred-buttered NRIS in A-MERRY-CA to enlighten…plz…my head is bursting…

                                 

CITY !! CITY!! BANG!!! BANG!!!

                                       back in bangalore

I had to make it blore on a sudden….couldn’t get any tickets by all known and unknown modes of travel…and no  point driving alone in a car….last time I drove I had a fortunate puncture…the puncture was juzt 10 kms from the hospital of a close friend and classmate….

This time I juzt jumped into a time-pass passenger …alighted at erode…took the next train to salem…and jumped into the earliest chug-along to bengaluru…..

I love these journeys as an unreserved ticket….you don’t get any place anywhere and the most atmospheric one is on the exit-door overlooking the loo…loo and behold!!!!

As the crowd welled up,I had to assume different yogic positions and finally I slept standing…no complaints ,though…

We razed into whichever platform the train chugged into,stopped any vendor of samoz and chaya,stared into passengers peeking out of crossing-trains……imagined veerapan moving between the clouds and rocks….kept checking our precious tickets…and then ofcourse musical chairs wherever you were put up…

What time-pass….two guys were drunk…I hate drunk guys during travel…I enjoy my drink…but when I travel I am a saint among the tainted…sitting cross-legged we shared plastic water,local political gup-sup,cross-referenced train timings and formed our own coterie….we were all clever by half… I put on the airs of a medical equipment supplier,the guy next post pretensed as a businessman...

We crozzed bangalore east by around 5 am and I was shocked to see those 1000 flats per crazy unit…looked crazy and frightening and manic…I remembered the bangalore floods and the dissolved and absolved water bodies….these matchbox flats have no architecture worth mentioning..even if you can spray colors and throw metallic sculptures here and there…..even if you can get HAFEEZ CONTRACTOR to do the frozen music stuff for your stone,cement,wood,tile and paint..

..later on...I picked up my copy of the DECCAN HERALD…..” one lakh flats not yet sold..”…..felt really happy…

The railway timetable was was being circulated..remembered an old joke…the timetable is the best book of fiction in India…no train worth its asphalt and paper runs on time…you can really have a laugh and laugh I did….

TWO TO TWO TO TWO TWO

This is a just-so punch line from a kamalahassan comedy track…kamal lands up in a railway station and enquires the arrival and depart of a train,,,the station master quips….TWO TO TWO TO TWO TWO….in effect  1.58pm arrival,depart 2.02 pm.

Two celebrities I admired have passed over the earht’s horizon this fortnight.

1.russy karanjia of the one-of-a-kind BLITZ tabloid ....founder and editor.

2.baba amte…..who worked with the leper’s on par with father damien

Russy of BLITZ was the quintessential tabloid editor of independent India.

BRAVE BOLD BEAUTIFUL.

Publish or perish….his topline.

BLITZ was concurrent with another tabloid those days…the CURRENT.

Rumor had it that BLITZ was financed by the KGB and CURRENT by the CIA…it was the time of the coldest season of the cold war.

I still remember that when BRITAIN invaded the FALKLANDS ..BLITZ screamed BRITANNIA WAIVE THE RULES….as opposed to the once-upon-a-time BRITANNIA RULE THE WAVES…

OUTLOOK still carries on this tradition first enacted by BLITZ.

We all read BLITZ from the LAST PAGE first.

The LAST PAGE was by KA ABBAS..and that was the page you read first.

Of all the Indian magazines on the stands it is only OUTLOOK which has perfected the LAST PAGE.

INDIA TODAY , the WEEK and the FRONTLINE have the worst last pages.

RUSSY was famous for his pussies ..the PIN-UP page..the PIN-UP is an American world war 2 tradition....PIN-UPS of marilyn monroe and others were posted to american soldiers on the battlefront  to relieve their tedium and medium!!!!

The tamil morninger THE DAILY THANTHI has a pin-up on its sundae front page.

INDIA TODAY in its early days had a pin-up in every issue…there was one with a female cuddling a kitten bridging her breasts..the PIN-UP screamed PUSS IN BOOBS…how man of you remember the  PUSS IN BOOTS fairy tale production..it first came on srilanka television.

.......HEADLESS BODY IN TOPLESS BAR....check-it-out with the BLITZ past issues!!!

BYE BYE RUSSY...

I did a 30-day short fellowship in leprosy in a hospital in india,which was one of the 4 international centers for the DAPSONE TRIAL….  and that has affected my perception forever.

I salute BABA for the wrok he did among the lepers.

When father Damien worked with the lepers,no leper  really took a liking for the father.

One day father Damien himself gets afflicted with leprosy.

He still doesn’t tell anyone in that remote leprosy island colony.

..but he starts his prayers with the lepers…FATHER IN HEAVEN…WE,the lepers..the news spreads like wildfire….the highest international award in leprosy carries the name of FATHER DAMIEN.

BABA did not contact leprosy bcoz with the success of the dapsone trial,leprosy was controlled and now eradicated.

BABA was in no way lesser than father DAMIEN.

Baba amte,jayaprakash narayan,vino bhave,sunderlal bahuguna,mehta patkar….

These are my BHARAT RATNAS

SHALL WE SHAKE A LEG,MR K

                       more BRAWNS and less BRAINS

About 30 days ago,as the crow flies and the dog barks,there was a much self-hyped chiclit screamin stuff on the stands…went something like …SHALL WE DANCE,MR XYZ…written by YOU-KNOW-WHO-BOO….

INDIA TODAY rubbished it in a hard-hitting review…..

 ..... booklet is the weakest. She has spirit, like her Orkuting, wannabe writer heroine, but not enough craft. She also doesn’t have a publisher who has been able to smoothen her rough edges.Maybe she needs to graduate from chick to woman before writing chick lit worth reading.

A lot of us predicted long time back that style goes with substance…..spirit with letter….

the moral is simple...before you think ya is o ne a kind..read the master-blasters of the 80s 

The trouble with chiclit writers today is that they are clueless on   chiclit stuff 20 years back…..

Let’s go back 20 years..

Gita mehta and her KARMA COLA

Shobha de and her SOCIALITE EVENINGS plus more and more

Paroma and her SIX MINUTES TO SEX

Manjula padmanaban

Namitha gokhale 

..[MILON MUKERJEE and his illustrations for the sexotic short stories in the ILLUSTRATED WEEKLY OF INDIA]...

All great writers these with the XX gene,riveting stuff,quotable quotes,legs and pegs,in-laws and out-laws,rivals and arrivals,Ps and Qs,boobs and booby-traps!! 

…the hype for the DANCING WITH DOSHY had its own spin-doctoring..

GREAT FASHION DESIGNER  BUNKS JOB - WRITES,WRITES,WRITES TO THE METRONOME  OF MYLAPORE MRIDINGAM!!!!

It could have also  been even like this..

TRULY GREAT CYCLE-RIKSHAW DRIVER SAYZ ENUFF IS ENUFF - STARTS TREASURE HUNT FOR  PERMISSIVE PEN

POT-BELLIED PAANWAALA PAWNS  GOLD -  BIO-SKETCHES ON A4 XXXECUTIVE E-COLON-PAPER…

The trick is to sustain the hype with good type!!!...

Now,how did GITA MEHTA and SHOBA DE do it…..That's another STORY 

PARO :FREAMS OF PASSION by NAMITA GOKHALE...read this review first!!!!!!

..........myself in her."" So begins this slight, occasionally amusing, often intriguing first novel: a young Indian woman's tale of upper-middle-class mores in Bombay and Delhi--with the emphasis on social ...  climbing, adultery, and decadence. The narrator is youngish, sardonic Priya, who begins her story back in the Sixties, when she was secretary (and sometime lover) to B.R., the smooth owner of Bombay's Sita Sewing Machine company. For a wife, however, B.R. chooses the charismatic, glamorous Paro--while Priya, obsessively envious of Paro, has to settle for an arranged marriage to plump Delhi lawyer Suresh. A few years pass. Now, thanks to Suresh's single-minded social-climbing, Priya is solidly ensconced in Delhi society. Now, after leaving B.R. and several lovers, Paro is a daring, chic ""conversation piece at parties""--a prototypical ""bad girl"" who befriends the half-amused, half-enthralled, relatively staid Priya. And, in the decade that follows, Priya will remain basically loyal to Paro through tawdry ups and downs: Paro's suicide attempts; her affairs with a flaky Minister's son, a sadistic politician; her marriage to a homosexual European filmmaker; and even her apparent attempt to seduce Priya's conventional hubby Suresh--which triggers the near-collapse of this barely tenable marriage. (After a painful miscarriage, Priya has been unable to have children.) First-novelist Gokhale never quite succeeds in illuminating Priya's obsession with shallow, selfish, flashy Paro--despite the detailing of sexual fantasies and triangular tensions. Along the way, however, there are curious glimpses of a largely (yet not entirely) westernized Indian milieu--where arranged marriages and funeral pyres coexist with Oxbridge accents, women's lib, and black satin bedsheets. 

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